I see a lot of posts along the lines of "when you find a good man/woman, never let him/her go." But I've learned firsthand that not all good things are good for us.... Someone can be a good person and even treat you pretty well and STILL not be a good fit for you. There are more factors at play than what seems good on the surface.
Communicating about needs and boundaries is a great place to start. But when those aren't honored, alternative action may be needed.
I am at a place in my life where I'd rather be single than spend time with someone who isn't the right fit. These choices are challenging and often come with doubt and second guessing... did I make the right choice?
Thankfully I've also learned in my last few years of dating that it is imperative to trust my body's signals and intuition about who is and isn't right for me. When I do this and honor my own needs and boundaries, then I make conscious and resonant decisions.
I am happy single... I have a beautiful daughter and amazing friends with whom I spend lots of time. AND I very much need and enjoy my alone time. Any relationship I enter needs to accept and honor these facts and give me the space to still be my own person. I'm not wired to be fully absorbed into only a romantic relationship at the expense of all others. I cherish the other people in my life too much.
Would I like a relationship someday? You bet. But I will wait until I meet the person willing to create a mutually enriching and fulfilling relationship. I've learned through my experiences how to do relationships better. So, after YEARS of personal healing and growth, the choice I've made for myself is to no longer settle.
This doesn't mean I'm expecting perfect. Far from it. I am one of the least perfect people I know. But I have gotten very clear on the "must haves" and equally clear on what I DON'T want. And the right fit for me is somewhere in the middle.
Does any of this resonate with you? If you need guidance and support sorting any of this out for yourself, let's schedule a discovery session to see how I can help.