Sometimes a little shift in perspective or changing the language we use makes a HUGE difference in our behavior and choices. Here's an example from my life to illustrate this point. I long ago decided that I wanted to reduce the number of meetings I do on Mondays and Fridays. The intention was to work *on* my business those days - to do administrative work or writing or other "behind the scenes" types of tasks. I blocked Mondays off with the label "No Meeting Mondays" and Fridays as "work or self-care time."
I recently noticed that most Mondays and Fridays - I ended up doing little-to-no work. Although I had the time blocked for it, there was no specific intention for how I would use that time, so I didn't.
I decided to rename the calendar blocks. Now Mondays are divided between "CEO Time" in the morning and "Creating or Writing Time" in the afternoon. Fridays are blocked for "Creating or Writing Time" now too.
This little shift in language has made a MASSIVE shift for me in terms of how I treat my business and my work. I am now showing up more consistently and addressing the important "business" of my business. My CEO Time allows me dedicated time to plan for the week ahead and decide how I will use my available time. And now I have dedicated time to write and create - things that I love to do and that are important in my particular business. I already feel more intentional and more productive and I know that this will lead to even better results.
And if something comes up that interferes with that planned time, I now reschedule that meeting with myself to another time. For example, I took advantage of the opportunity to go kayaking with a friend on a recent Friday and rather than just canceling the commitment to create, I rescheduled that time to the following Sunday when my daughter would be with friends.
What LITTLE shifts in thinking can YOU make to help you make a BIG shift in behavior and help you stay focused on your most important things? And what if you applied this same concept to how you think about YOURSELF or how you view your relationships with others?
#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach
“I will be happy in this relationship when…” Sometimes we find ourselves here... dissatisfied, unhappy, or feeling like our needs or expectations are not being met in a relationship.
I have found myself here many times in different relationships. My old pattern was to blame my partner for my unhappiness. This wasn't really fair. Yes, in these cases, my partners absolutely did things that hurt me or weren't meeting my needs for a healthy relationship. But if I'm being totally honest, my own behavior contributed to the relationship challenges, too.
I have made MANY errors over the years - having incredibly unrealistic expectations, not communicating my needs or expectations to my partners in a way they could understand, not addressing concerns or conflicts in a timely manner, allowing resentments to build over time, and more.
Taking a long, hard look at my own behavior in my relationships was challenging to do, but one of the best things I've done for myself - and for my future partner. I was noticing repeating patterns across my relationships and - me being the common denominator - I realized that I needed to change some things so I could be the best version of myself in my relationships.
And sometimes, we do all the right things. We make the changes within ourselves and we start showing up differently in our relationships, and we STILL don't experience the kind of relationship we want. Maybe we feel like our partner isn't matching our effort. Perhaps we are growing, but he isn't. Or maybe he's just not honoring our boundaries or needs.
Dealing with relationship conflicts and challenges can impact our overall sense of joy in the other areas of our life... especially if we feel stuck in a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
In these cases, we may need to make a whole different kind of decision. These decisions are not easy and we need to know where to go when we need some help or guidance in exploring our options.
While it may be the perfect place for us to "vent" for awhile and clear the air, our friends may not always be the best resource for us as we contemplate a major decision such as this. While they surely mean well, they may automatically default to taking our side rather than helping us look at things objectively. Some friends may just tell us what they think we want to hear, which isn't always all that helpful.
My clients come to me with this big question - is this relationship right for me? I help them explore all options objectively and make a decision that feels right for them.
If you find yourself in that place - questioning your own relationship - and need an objective outsider to help you think through your options, please reach out.
#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach #midlife
Journaling... My most cherished and longest -standing morning practice. My journals capture my lowest of lows, my highest of highs, and everything in between. I write about my experiences, how I'm feeling, my thoughts and ideas, and so much more. Pretty much everything goes in these.
Journaling helps me get stuff out of my head so it doesn't get stuck there. It helps me see more objectively. And it's an important part of processing, understanding and releasing emotions. This practice helps me with introspection, self-inquiry / self-reflection, and self-discovery.
When I look back to old journals, I can see repeating patterns and themes, as well as observe my growth over time. And when I'm feeling really stuck in an area of my life, journaling helps me explore and ultimately get unstuck.
My journals are a very valuable tool for all areas of my life. They are a safe, sacred space for me.
Do you journal? How has this practice helped you? Or how might it help you in your life?
Reach out of you need some ideas about getting started with a journaling practice of your own.
Started Tuesday from a place of centeredness and power.
I don't have time to do ALL of these things EVERY day. But I do make an effort to do as many as I can as often as I can. Because I know what the practices are that have the biggest impact on me and I know how much they help me start my day from a place of centeredness and power.
I used to be pretty consistent with my morning routine. Then I got pulled into another level of deep self-reflection and inner healing work and I stopped doing some of the practices. In retrospect, that wasn't necessarily the best choice because some of the practices I quit were the very ones that could've been helpful in working through the hardest moments of healing....
But in the moment, I just didn't have the emotional energy to do it all so I let some of it fall away.
I didn't beat myself up about it (as I would have in the past). Instead I extended myself some grace and then once I felt my energy shifting, I started reintroducing the most helpful practices back into my day.
Things can feel impossible right before a massive change occurs. This can happen for any number of reasons, such as ...
*we encounter fears and doubts
*we try to push and force things
*we are stuck in old ways
*we are healing old wounds, stories, beliefs
*we are releasing to make room for the new
Life invites us to keep growing and evolving. This requires us to explore new ways of thinking and being, make new choices, and implement new habits and actions.
It also means we need to be willing to let go. And letting go is hard. Letting go means making the choice to get uncomfortable and venture into unknown territory (which is scary!).
It's frustrating when things feel harder we think they should. It's difficult to feel stuck. It can make us question our very worth or the real purpose for our life.
But questioning is a good thing. Questioning allows us to explore...
*What REALLY matters to me?
*What kind of person do I want to be?
*How do I want to show up in my relationships?
*What kind of friend/ mother/ partner do I want to be?
*What do I most want to accomplish in my life?
*What difference do I WANT to make?
*How do I want to contribute?
Getting this kind of clarity helps us tap into our SACRED WHY and pulls us forward.
I was recently grappling with all this myself and felt stuck in lots of ways. I was so focused on everything that WASN'T working right and everything that I DIDN'T have, that I forgot to appreciate what I DO HAVE and what IS WORKING.
So I made the time and space to explore these questions again and to reconnect with my deepest soul purpose and the SACRED WHY within.
When you feel stuck, call a time out and revisit these kinds of questions so you too can reconnect with what feels right and true and aligned for YOU.
What is behind the name, Embrace Her...? Over the course of nine years, my business has had three names; two years ago I revealed the newest name. Embrace Her was inspired largely by my own personal journey and the shifts that had been happening organically with my clients over time.
Embrace Her is all about learning to EMBRACE OURSELVES as whole and complete women. In simplest terms, it's about embodying self-love.
Among the hardest things I've had to do in this lifetime, aside from learning what it really means to love others, is to learn to let others love me, and learn to love myself, too. This has been challenging because for much of my life I have believed myself to be fundamentally unlovable.
I've been learning to extend myself grace, compassion, and forgiveness through my challenges and struggles, and I've been learning what it *really* means to practice and embody self-love.
It's important for us women to do this even when - actually, especially when - it feels like so many other voices are telling us the things we need to do to become more beautiful, to be more worthy of love, or to be "happier" or more "successful." There is a HUGE difference between "self-improvement" (trying to "fix" ourselves) and opting for personal growth and self-healing.
In a society such as ours that holds up the "masculine" ways as ideal, that actively promotes impossible standards of beauty and conformity for women, and sells us all the ways that we need to improve or "fix" ourselves... it is courageous to be a woman who accepts and loves herself as she is and isn't afraid to say it and embody it.
Ladies..., our opportunity is to shift our internal self-talk, tune out the harmful external messages and other people's expectations, and come to know that we are worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are - even WITH our blemishes, imperfections, and mistakes.
My purposes in life and with Embrace Her are to:
Does any of this resonate with you?
If so, I invite you to book a complimentary discovery session with me. In these sessions, we explore the most pressing challenges you are facing and if my coaching can support your specific needs.
I hope to chat with you soon.
#confidence #wellbeing #relationships #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #lifestyle